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Confessions of a Hasbeen Actress

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March 25, 2012

Tony was a young, hip go-getter who represented talent. I actually thought this was a break … for a change. When we met, he wanted to represent me before I even interviewed him. God that felt good, hopeful…but I was suspicious. Only because I was feeling insecure. Why would someone want to represent me, that didn’t really know me yet? For all I knew, he wanted to put me in a bear costume and book me on the kids show “Yo Gabba Gabba” and I probably would have said “Great!” I left that meeting feeling like I’d been discovered again. Tony was so excited to represent me, he almost made it seem easy to jump-start my dead career. But after two months, I’d gone on ZERO auditions. They said no one wanted to read me. No one. They couldn’t get me an audition. Probably even for the bear on “Yo Gabba Gabba.” I constantly asked, “Are you submitting me for the home runs? Or the first-base roles? I’m willing and ready for anything just to get my feet wet again. One line, one word, one syllable, a breath.” Nothing. They called me after two months and said Tony needed to focus on his talent on a TV series and he was giving me to his “new protege Rochelle.” Rochelle was his secretary. The girl in jeans and a T-shirt  who got his coffee the day I came to sign with him. This was going to be my new manager? Hmm. The writing on the wall was telling me I no longer had a manager. No manager. No theatrical agent. No commercial representation. No voiceover agent. What I did have was a belief in myself to keep trying, and not to give up. This industry was not how I remembered it. When I was a kid there were so many auditions and not as much competition. I could tell this was going to be a long road ahead and willing to keep going.

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